100 Days

nzdrunk3

They say it takes 21 days to form a new habit. I googled it, apparently not. It seems things aren’t always that simple. Well anyway I decided to make my own rule. I chose 100 days. It seemed like a nice round number. 100 sober days.

There use to be an alcohol awareness campaign that had the tag line ‘It’s not what we’re drinking, it’s how we’re drinking’. I can relate, I was drinking to oblivion. I was experiencing significant blackouts when I went out drinking. If you haven’t experienced blackout’s then you may find them hard to believe. Often times people can have selective memories the day after drinking or can experience ‘grey-outs’. Grey-outs are when you have forgotten but when someone reminds you of an event, the memory restores and you get that ‘oh my god I remember that’ moment. A blackout is essentially when the short term memories don’t convert to long term memories, the memories are gone, they are not stored anywhere so no matter what someone tells you, you won’t remember. It is an incredibly shit feeling waking up in the morning and not knowing how you got there and having no recollection of the final 2 or 3 or even 4 hours of the night. When you are obliterated like that you have lost all cognition, you are on automatic pilot. Bad decisions are imminent.

So I agree with the campaign slogan, “how we’re drinking” is definitely an issue, I also think though that “why we’re drinking” can be equally an issue. Are you drinking to celebrate a special occasion? Are you drinking to enjoy a social gathering? Or are you drinking to escape the challenges that you are faced with in life? Intoxication was giving me a temporary reprieve from the challenges of everyday life. For a short time any anxiety, stress or fear could be forced to the back of my mind and replaced with fun, laughter and freedom. That was of course until the morning after. There I was again, back in the real world, challenges and emotional bourdons intact. Now though I was hungover and emotionally drained with even less mental capacity to deal with them. The anxiety, stress and fear would then compound as my state of mind was weak. I needed to escape again. Rinse and repeat. Down we go. Emotional oblivion. Pass the Prozac.

I socialised with many people who would have partied at a similar level and frequency to me and maybe it’s not an issue for them, it’s not for me to judge others nor do I have any willingness to do so. I think ultimately no matter what it is, drink, drugs, gambling or anything else the line of moderation can be a blurry one. If your behaviour is outside of what society deems to be reasonable then you may likely be assessed as having a problem. If however you are below societies behavioural radar the measure of acceptable moderation is going to come down to your own self assessment. What is too much? What price am I paying? It really comes down to you and the questions you ask of yourself.

The moment that really got me in the end was when I started focusing on the man I wanted to become and what I wanted to achieve. When I thought of who that person was I knew that if I continued the way I was going I couldn’t become that man. I wasn’t going to achieve what I believed I could. That was my litmus test.
So I finally stopped running and started fighting, literally.

I would like to be able to have a social drink again and maintain a level of moderation. I know that if I do it has to pass my criteria, it cannot negatively influence or slow my journey forward. What I have learnt within myself is that sometimes abstinence is easier than moderation. Drinking again does freak me out because I currently enjoy the safety of abstinence, moderation is a beast I have yet to conquer and she is a fiery one.

There is a lot at stake. My boys deserve the best of me. My family and friends deserve the best of me. My colleagues deserve the best of me. I deserve the best of me.

Day 101…

1st Post – Introduction

Well it looks like I’m entering the blogosphere… this blog will be one of my personal views and opinions on the world and not those necessary held by any FreemanX Company.

My intention with this blog is to hopefully provide readers with some insights to thought processes and actions that have proved successful for me in life and business, as well as just general opinions on our world and all that’s happening in it. If people can take something away from reading a post  then I’ll be a happy man…

I’ve never been one to sugar coat anything and at times can be prone to intermittent colourful language so if you are sensitive to that sort of thing this may not be the blog for you…

I’m also hoping that over time I won’t be simply talking to myself so any comments are welcome!

Talk soon… Eddie

Owen Evans and the Castrol Trophy

Castrol Trophy Confused? Don’t be it’s actually really straight forward…
Many people have asked me to clarify the Castrol trophy, so here we go…
It’s long been considered that the Castrol Trophy represented the Fastest Land Speed Record on the books.
We believed that, MotorsportNZ told us that, we had that on our permit (below) to attempt on our survey approved 1KM course on Saturday.

Record-Permit

Motorsport NZ Record Attempt Permit

When we broke Owen Evans Flying KM Land Speed Record on Saturday we thought we were entitled to that trophy in line with the understanding and communication we had received.
The Castrol Trophy has been around for generations and everyone seemed shocked and a little confused when Owen Evans came forward and said it said “Flying Mile” on the trophy.
From that point we didn’t want the trophy, firstly it doesn’t represent what we thought it did ( the fastest Land Speed Record) and secondly the flying mile isn’t a category we attempted. We were never trying to claim a mile record with our KM record, we simply were under the understanding the trophy went to the fastest Land Speed Record Holder which we believe in it’s inception it probably was intended to be, but measurements change and the flying KM was introduced as a qualifying distance to set a NZ Land Speed Record.
Our thoughts were however, that MotorsportNZ now really needs to adapt and introduce a new recognition for the Fastest Land Speed Record in NZ, after all that’s what these Records are all about, Speed.
Now this is not Owen Evans’ issue, the reality is it is his trophy and he is rightfully entitled to it… The unfortunate thing for Owen is, that it now represents the second fastest NZ Land Speed Record.
Regards,
Eddie Freeman

Update May 13th 2013: Record Books Updated – Officially New Zealand’s Fastest Man