What would social consciousness have us become? Thin. Young. Beautiful. Rich. Powerful. Famous. Popular. What a joke.
Have we forsaken those who serve for those that entertain? How do we value those that give their labour in service?
How do we value the knowledge, experience and wisdom of our elders? They no longer fit into anything society values so we shuffle them off to homes and sweep them under the social rug while the youth periodically comment “I love old people they’re so cute.”
Meanwhile we’re herded along under the shadow of this societal ideal forever hoping we might just one day be worthy in its eye’s. Fuck off.
If we don’t meet social expectations do we feel like we are failing at life? Are we forever feeling in lack of these things, forever feeling envious of those with these things, forever outside the realms of true happiness and fulfillment for only in achievement of such things can it be found? Surely it must be so, social consciousness said so.
Even if we acquire the pinnacles of social expectation yet are still ruled by the underlying belief system then woe unto us as the clock ticks, because as surely as the clock strikes twelve they will be slowly taken from us in the cruelest of gradual extractions. The desperate and futile attempts to hold our fingers tight can not prevent youth, beauty, fame and popularity as society defines them from slipping between them nevertheless. Is it any wonder we are a depressed people.
Aren’t we playing a no win game?
Don’t get me wrong I don’t think there is anything wrong with desiring the aspects of life that society values, I think it’s our natural expression to create and we do that by dreaming of a grander tomorrow and making it so. It’s the belief that we need these things in order to be happy, worthy and complete that fucks us up. It creates an enduring sense of lack and inferiority which cripples the spirit of people and confines them to be controlled consumers rather than free creators.
Why is it that we live the way we do? Is it because everyone else lives that way? Is it because that is how our parents told us we should live and how their parents told them to live?
Why don’t we ever stop and challenge it, I mean challenge everything? I think it’s because things just move so fast we just get swept away in the ferocious flow of social thinking. As the crowd steams forward it is hard to change direction when you are surrounded by the moving masses. Yet in amongst the pursuit of social acceptance and keeping up with the crowd, something quite amazing can happen.
We might just fall right on our face.
When the dust settles and we pick ourselves up we might be lucky enough to find ourselves standing in silence, alone, the crowd having moved on without us and for just a moment we are able to see it all for the delusion that it is.
Well l fell on my face a beauty a few years back. At my lowest point I understood profoundly what it meant to have a broken spirit and be a broken man. I had accumulated great material things just as I was taught to do in order to ‘be successful’, a big house, nice cars, a boat blah blah blah yet none of it meant anything when my mind was so corrupted by depressed thought I felt I was literally drowning in my own consciousness. What possible comfort could these things provide to a tortured mind? When there was seemingly no one to turn to and nowhere to go I was left feeding on the grunge of my own mind and faced with a single contemplation – ‘this can not be it, there must be another way’.
Everything I thought I was, my very identity was literally torn apart, my personality/ego caved in on itself. It is my belief that this crumbling of personal image provided an opening through which a greater aspect of life could be revealed. Looking back now, this was the single greatest thing that could have ever happened in my life and it has lead to a chain of amazing experiences and realisations since. I say to you sincerely and with absolute truth and honour I would not trade this experience for all the riches of the world, I swear it so.
I remember so clearly the day in Queenstown when my perspective on life so changed. There I sat on the lazyboy in my apartment. I had closed my eyes searching for a little solitude and to quiet my relentless mind, I turned inward and withdrew to a calm dark silence within me. As the minutes unfolded I found this inner place of quiet deepening, as I surrendered my being to this void like place of calm I had the strange sensation of my head moving backwards, it was like there was a force being applied to it. I at first attempted to hold my head upright although it became more and more difficult, I ultimately allowed my head to go all the way back onto the headrest of the chair.
As I sat there silent and still I began to feel myself being immersed in this wellspring of sensation, waves of light began to roll through my entire being, rolling at me in my mind’s eye and bringing with them feelings of such deep euphoric peace and an ecstasy like sensation but without the sexual element, it felt fucking amazing. How this came about I do not know for sure but once the experience had ended and my eyes opened, so to had something awakened within me.
I didn’t know what had just happened, all I felt was sheer excitement because whilst I knew not how to define it I knew what I had experienced and it was beyond the body and beyond the senses. I knew there was something more, something else. I paced around the lounge and kitchen saying to myself ‘What the fuck was that? What the fuck was that? Was that real? What the fuck was that?” I was so energized with pure enthusiasm for what it was I had uncovered.
Once I had regained my composure, all I wanted to do was share the experience, yet I knew the likely reaction should I attempt to. I nevertheless in my excitement and in need to express it jumped on my computer and posted bizarrely on facebook.
From that point on the world of material possessions and social prize had no value to me, no lure whatsoever. I realised that the highest prize in this life to me was peace, I mean peace in my mind. I knew then that the purification of consciousness was the ultimate life pursuit. I knew the only kingdom worth building was the one within me. Social expectation was profoundly flawed, what we valued in society was exposed for it’s primitive selfishness and hollow superficiality. I knew then that if I had peace in my mind then it wouldn’t matter where I lived or what car I drove or what people thought of me, I would be free. I knew that it didn’t matter how thin I was, how young I was, how beautiful I was, how rich I was, how powerful I was, how famous I was, how popular I was, those things would only ever bring temporal splashes of dissolving happiness and in and of themselves never solidify peace in my mind. I knew there continual pursuit believing they would insured I would forever remain their slave.
I knew that my life had changed forever with this realisation. I was no longer going to spend my life on the illusory social conveyor belt, but rather spend it fighting for peace within myself. With this realisation came an amazing relief, it felt as if the huge psychological burden of social expectation and competition had just fallen from my shoulders. I was freed from the struggle and inspired by a new frontier. Since that day the journey has been beyond profound and I will endeavour to share it over time. I have a depth of gratitude so utterly profound that even so much as focusing upon it wells my eyes.
So my brothers, if you have found yourself in a place in life where depression has overtaken you. If you are drowning in sorrow, if you are heavy laden with perceived unworthiness, then I encourage you to raise your head from the murk and mire and rejoice, for within your pain and suffering lies the most profound opportunity. See the social lie for what it is and let it burn in its delusional ashes, choose again and like the phoenix in all its glory soar to heights of true freedom.
You are a great entity and you are enough. You need not spend your life in the shadow of who someone else thinks you should be. Be you, be unapologetically you in all your glory and live in that joy.
Close your eyes…find courage in the silence, allow the stillness to soothe your mind. In the depth of that void, let the darkness be felt as a cleansing midnight. When you go to this place and your consciousness is washed and you but glimpse a peace so profound, so all encompassing that you wish not to return, then allow your eyes to open and so to your soul will awaken with them. Arise great entity, for in that moment a new journey is born.